jr fall

jr fall quick dispatch from my new room on the first floor of senior haus, just to share how my semester is going. somehow, 1.5 weeks into classes, im already inundated with workbut im not complaining. after two years of taking a lot of required/introductory/foundational classes that i wasnt too thrilled about, ive finally reached the promised land, a semester where i am genuinely excited about all of my classes! im in: 14.33 Research and Communication in Economics a sort of pre-thesis class, where we will undertake independent research projects in economics. will have to stay focused and not let work from this class pile up, because the work is heavily concentrated in two assignments (a small project and a final project). 18.112 Complex Analysis so far i like this class a lot, mostly because it hasnt ramped up in abstraction yet and because holomorphic functions are beautiful. 14.121/122 Microeconomic Theory I/II each of these classes is 6 units (compared to 12 units for a typical one-semester class) and runs for half a semester. im especially looking forward to 14.122, which is game theory and takes up the second half of the semester. in 14.121 today, the professor said, im sorry, i know consumer theory is the most boring thing ever, but hopefully were through the worst part now. i suppose this is my one Foundational Class With Unspectacular Ratings for this semester, but i thought the most boring thing ever was kind of cool, so i think ill be alright. lots of calculus in both this class and 18.112. 6.867 Machine Learning this is my Class I Havent Attended Yet Even Though Its Week 3 Of The Semester. but i have been reading the notes and can confirm i am interested. CMS.307 Critical Worldbuilding a blogger favorite! taught by junot díaz. lots of workbut has already (in a very short period of time) significantly informed and enhanced the way i think about storytelling. i feel comfortable in this class in a way ive felt in few other classes. + PE (kickboxing) + weekly club meeting(s?) + UROP, soon. other thoughts last night i went to all-you-can-eat sushi (@yamato, if you havent been) with some friends from freshman year, and then i saw my brother, who is applying to grad schools, and then i called my parents, who are looking at houses. lots of moving partsit feels like not long ago i was reading my brothers college application essays, but somehow, its been four years. i have cousins whom i picture as small children, only to remember that they are starting high school. im a junior now, and the people who were juniors when i started MIT have graduated. i have no idea where, geographically, ill be in two years (though hopefully in grad school). in the past year, ive gained significant perspective on who i am and what it takes for me to be happy. this is a post for another day, maybe, though i think it might be a little self-indulgent to write such a post. im not planning to put as much energy into internship recruiting as i did last year; im not sure if i even want an internship next summer. the impostors sydrome has been extra strong recentlyive been thinking thoughts like, if i go to the gym before i remove my makeup, i cant make any mistakes or else i will look extra Incompetent And Female, like im the only person wearing a dress in this room, if i answer a question wrong or make a mistake itll just confirm that i am Dumb And Girly, like i am horrible at math and especially calculus; i dont remember anything and im sure everyone else does. at least im now able to identify these thoughts and call them nonsensical rather than allowing myself to engage in self-sabotage. i now live in a super quiet place (relative to anywhere i lived in EC, at least), and my walls are white. in spite of the ~*~stuff~*~ happening with senior haus this semester, i really like itim content to be left alone most of the time, and i get to daydream about painting my room, though im not sure if ill actually go through with it. (i recently stumbled upon these tropical landscapes and felt inspired.) will make a blog post if i do end up painting it!